It Started Centuries Ago
by XxForgetRealityxX
Summary: Yu Kanda has felt empty his whole life, and upon meeting a certain girl named Allen, he starts remembering things from a past life. (Bad Summary) Fem!Allen Requested


**Requested by Cana99**

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The bell rang, signalling the end of class.

It was a normal, empty day, in a boring, pointless life. At least that's how Yu Kanda felt.

Something was always missing, something that almost seemed there on the days when everything was covered in snow, that seemed there when he saw the metallic gleam of silver. It was never complete though, just a faint feeling, that left him feeling even emptier when it was gone.

He lazily placed his textbook in his bag and threw it over his shoulder. School sucked, a sea of faces that didn't mean anything, a slur of pointless curses that made people feel 'cool'.

Everything was just so pointless.

Lost in thought he collided with something, something soft and small.

He looked down to see a girl at his feet, a star was sharpied in at the end of a long scar on her face, and she had a criss cross of red cuts on her left wrist.

She caught him staring and pulled down her sleeve balling it into her hand before looking up at him with a glare. He froze. Her eyes, something about them filled him with nostalgia. He caught a glimpse of her hair, white as snow, reaching her shoulders in clumps.

x

"_You look like an old man."_

_"Atleast I don't look like a girl, stupid Kanda! What's your problem anyway!?"_

_"You are."_

x

Kanda could hear the conversation clear as day, the comforting unknown pubescent voice easing a void.

"Earth to dumbass, you plan on helping me up?"

Her voice was more feminine than the one playing on repeat in his mind, but the way she talked was exactly the same.

"Help yourself up."

Kanda growled, turning away. He didn't like the way this girl changed the emptiness, he didn't like change.

"Hey wait, idiot, at least apologize!"

She grabbed onto the back of his blue hoodie with her thin fingers.

x

_"Slow down, idiot! I'm trying to talk to you!"_

_A hand much smaller than his own attempted to grab his arm, missing slightly and intertwining their fingers._

_His heart skipped, and he instantly pulled away, regretting giving up the warmth of the hand_

_"Don't touch me, Beansprout."_

_"My name's not 'beansprout', it's-"_

x

"Allen."

He breathed the name, sending a warmth through his body.

"Hey don't be a creeper, how the hell do you know my name?"

"I don't. Allen was someone I...knew."

He mostly spoke to himself.

She half jogged to get in front of him, and turned, walking backwards.

"Seriously, what the hell's your damage kid. If I recall you knocked me over, so why are you the one being pissy!?"

He looked at her face, and saw someone else, someone he didn't recognise but at the same time did.

Someone who he had a feeling was long gone.

x

_"Hey, don't die dammit! You haven't even earned me remembering your name yet!"_

_He held the boy in his arms, even as Allen was bleeding out, he couldn't help but note how much he had grown._

_"Stupid, beansprout! Just speak to me one more time! I'll remember your name, okay? Just don't leave!"_

_He pulled the boy closer, tears streaming down his face for the first time in years._

_"Nobody gave you permission to die yet. I didn't give you permission to die! I'm the only one who's allowed to kill you."_

_He was sobbing now, choking on his words._

_"Fuck. Just don't fucking day, I promise I'll call you by your name, just stay with me!"_

_Allen was dead, everyone knew it, a small girl whose face was blurred placed her hand on his shoulder._

_"He's gone Kanda."_

_He pushed her away violently, denying the fact to himself and everyone who could hear._

x

"Allen, please Allen, don't leave me."

He didn't know what he was doing, all he know is the body temperature that blended with his was comforting. He was filling the void, the emptiness that plagued him his whole life.

Students stared shocked, watching as the resident porcupine hugged the new girl, bawling his eyes out.

They were even more shocked at the broken look of rejection that painted his onyx eyes when she pushed him away.

"Look, I DON'T KNOW YOU, okay? So stop acting like a total nutcase! Sorry if I brought up bad memories, now leave me alone."

The girl disappeared into the crowd of people, leaving Kanda wondering why his heart felt like it was broken, let alone broken again.

x

_Allen was gone, he couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. He was now a single coffin amongst hundreds. Nobody would blink an eye, everyone would carry on like it never happened. Just like they did with all the deaths before him._

_Kanda didn't want that to happen, he watched as the golden winged golem sat on Allens coffin, it's wings drooping._

_He was in a similar state, refusing to leave the wooden box alone, he'd been there for days, they wanted to move Allen, but he threatened anyone that came close._

_He'd carved the boys name into the wood, and was considering scarring his own flesh with the words._

_At least then, he'd remember. It was alright if only he remembered._

_He swore on the blood dripping down his arm that he would never forget Allen Walker. Never._

x

Someone tapped Kanda on the shoulder cautiously, flinching when he turned bearing bloodshot eyes.

He was handed a note, and the kid pointed to a girl in the back row.

It was her, the girl with the snow white hair.

Dear random idiot,

I'm sorry about the mental breakdown you had earlier. I don't think you even actually knew you were talking to me half the time.

Any way my names Alayna everyone just calls me Alen though.

If you need to talk about something I'm here, I'm actually planning on becoming a counselor when I grow up so itd be good practice.

Your names Yu Kanda right? I heard the teacher say it during role call.

If you really wanna talk meet me after school.

Now pay attention or you're gonna fail this class.

The handwriting was messy, the only thing that could be considered feminine were probably the stars doodled in the corners.

He couldn't help but smile

He hadn't lost Allen, they just parted ways for awhile.

He'd keep his promise.

Dear Allen,

I think having a counselor would actually be nice. I just hope you aren't a total idiot.

See you after school.

He scribbled on a separate piece of paper, wanting to keep the note forever, and handed it to the person behind him, who seemed even more shocked than before.

x

_"Hey Kanda, has anyone ever told you they loved you?"_

_"Not that I remember."_

_"Me neither."_

_Allen casually grabbed his hand, looking up at the stars._

_"Maybe one day, somebody will love us."_

_"You sound like a girl."_

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**If you guys like this and want, and request it, I can write alternate endings.**

**Also tell me what you think!**


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